Tyler's adventures in Wonderland

The devil wears Prada

rklayne — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:51:11 +0000

Actually not Prada, but another star of the fashion sky. I entered the company silently as a temp, to spend my English summer, hopefully the last one. I wanted so bad to enjoy a sunny, hot lazy summer…. but I ended up again staying here. It is official: I discovered to be addicted to London.

So I started working there and they were all happy with my job. They asked me (yes they did) to apply for a new vacancy within the company before the vacancy was even advertised for the same job I was already doing. After ages I had applied (I was actually considering looking around for other job opportunities), yes they did give me the job.

And here it comes the question: do I want this job? It is in the customer service, which is not exactly the department I am longing for. I have studied translation and marketing, and dealing with stupid selfish customers is not really my cup of tea.

Working in a luxury brand is not my cup of tea either. Life is a joke, definitely. Only a few months before I was yelling at my Italian students come to visit London shops rather than attractions and museums. Months after, I work for the same brand they were in love with.

Now, I have learnt that probably I will not even be untitled to holidays during Christmas and we will be opened on Boxing Day and New Year’s Eve. My goodness. I feel more and more like in this stupid movie. I entered the machine I have always hated. And it will happen to spend a Christmas apart from my family. My first Christmas away from home.

This makes me feel akward, leaving me to wonder if everthing is worthy. It is about time and no one will give me back the time I did not spend with my beloved family. This also brings up to light my all-times questions: why can’t I just leave it all and go back to my country? Why am I so desperately tied to this city?

Seduced and abandoned. How girly I feel today.

rklayne — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:34:41 +0000

Saturday afternoon. I hit the place of one of my friends with benefits. She’s going on holiday for one week, and I need to give her a snog at least before she goes. Just in case.

Then I sit in the living room with her flatmates while she has a shower. Watching football and drinking beer with male mates. So cool.

And then, I am ready to hit the town and have a nice out with some friends of mine. They want to go clubbing, so do I. The club is really cool and we have fun. There’s a live gig for a while, and the band really rocks. Then, as soon as the gig finishes, I see her. In the crowd, facing the stage on my left. She is absolutely gorgeous. I have never seen a girl like her. She is stunning, in her simple attitude. Her smile is fantastic. Her curly her is so sexy.

As I said, I had my part already earlier on today. I am not looking for anyone. I was just partying with my friends and having a good time. And suddenly I saw her.

And, surprisingly, she looks at me. I keep staring at her, she is too beautiful to take my eyes off from her. She sends me another glance. She is starting to realise I have noticed her and probably I will make a move. I am just waiting to see her reaction at my staring. If she goes away or avoids my eyes, I’ll let her go. I am not a stalker. I definitely don’t need that.

But. She does not take her eyes off from me either. She smiles at me. I am in heaven. I walk towards her and make my move. Oh my God, how beautiful she is. We talk for a little while and dance. She grabs me and kisses me. I am over the moon. I cannot think of anything else. I am kissing the most beautiful girl I have ever met.

After a while, a few friends come to talk to me. We stop kissing and I can see something different in her eyes. It is like a cloud on a sunny day. What is it? I smile at her. She smiles back, but then she says she needs to leave. “I’ll be back in a minute”, she says.

After a while I begin to be a bit concerned about her minute. I look around. She is there. I look at her. She looks at me, then she leaves. With not even one word.

I have never seen her again. Damn, this girl ruined my night. I felt in heaven and then in hell during the same night. Damn beautiful girl. I wasn’t even looking for anything.

The most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. And she just left me standing. How sad. I cannot figure out why.

I know a thing or two about me. My parents have been good to me, and I know I am kinda good looking. And I also know how not to make a snog in a club look like a snog in a club. There’s one thing my friends really envy of me. Girls always see me as a sort of prince charming or a movie hero. And I am also quite honest with all of them.

What happened with you, my beautiful princess? What crossed your mind when you left? I just wish I could have followed you, taken you gently by your arm and kissed you goodbye.

The old and the new. Just another post on my girls.

rklayne — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 22:27:50 +0000

Here I am. Finally alone. My ex-girlfriend came to see me. I don’t really know why I said yes. We had been together for more than 4 years (although I had a crush on her when I first saw her 11 years ago – omg, that feels so old… but I was really really young at the time). Then we split up, a couple of years ago, in a very violent and hurting attack of selfishness, from both parts I guess. Well, yes, I take all the blame for that. Apparently, at the end of the day, it was all my fault. But this is another story, which involves other people, sad feelings and situations.

Anyway. We have kind of started to chat again a few months ago. I guess I could never get rid of her, even if I marry someone else tomorrow. After all, for many years, she was all my life. She came, and I left all my girlfriends here standing. I am going out with quite a few girls, currently, and I told them all I was unavailable. Not because I wanted to stay with my ex girlfriend alone and I was not looking for any kind of idyllic or romantic situation. It is just that I love going out for gigs and clubs with her, it is something we have always been good at. And also, many of my girls know I used to be a one-relationship serious kind of guy, not like the prick I am now. And they all would know she was the one. I guess it is the way I look at her. I don’t really know, but am sure women can tell.

Anyway. Now she is gone and surprisingly I find myself thinking to another girl. A young girl I met a few months ago. I was supposed to be a tutor for a class of young students, and she was among them. No need to say she was totally different, she was amazing, she was lovely. And she had a crush on me, I know for sure. Once my students got back home, we started chatting on the web. She was so young and still, so full of surprises. She wanted to meet me again. I dreamt of kissing her, cuddling her, having sex with her. And she did too, and she would turn to me the next day saying: “Oh Tyler, I dreamt about you”. “What did you dream, sweetheart?”. “Oh, well, I was trying to hold you and then suddenly you disappeared. I was so sad”. And at that point I would have sailed all the distance between us, just to be beside her and comfort her.

But she was a lovely young beautiful girl. I was a bit busy with all my stuff here, changing flat, lots of problems with my connection… After three weeks I finally managed to talk to her (before we used to chat on a daily basis), she had changed. It was like I was talking with somebody else, who did not really want to talk to me. Who thought I was maybe too old, maybe worrying about things that could not be part of her life, in any case.

Time has passed, I have met a few girls who are willing to go out with me whenever I feel like, and on top of that there is my ex girlfriend thing. But when I’m alone, about to sleep, I still think of this beautiful young lady who teased me so well. I have to thank God, because I had such a crush that I was ready to leave London and go to live in a small southern town just for her. Thank God her crush on me has disappeared after three weeks only I could not chat with her. That should make me less sorry about what I have lost. But still.

The last minute of my life (in the bus, on my way to work)

rklayne — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:48:34 +0000

This morning I was on my way to work, as usually. I was on the bus, packed as usually, if not even more. I work in Oxford Circus, in the beating heart of London, and to get there I need to go all my way across the river, passing by the Houses of Parliament and ending up in Trafalgar Square.

I will never get used to London commuters. On the bus or in the tube, at 8 o’clock in the morning, you find all these people packed into the carriages, not a smile, not even a glance. I take great fun in looking around, trying to meet other people’s eyes randomly, staring at them and watching people trying to take their eyes away from me.

This morning, inside the bus, my wandering eyes came across a bag lying on the floor which the transport police would definitely classify as “unattended item”. I started feeling a bit weird. The bag looked suspicious and I was just a bunch of inches away from it. If it was a bomb…well, I would have not a single chance of surviving. I was listening to my mp3 player, and I did not particularly like the song it was playing in that single moment. Was that the last song I would ever listen to, would I be obsessed in my after life by a non-sense stupid chorus?

What are you supposed to think about if you suddenly know you’re going to die in one minute? Should I think of my family, back in my hometown? Should I think of the young girl I am obsessed with lately? Should I think of the girl who loves and is sexually obsessed by me? Or should I think of my ex-girlfriend, of our years together, of our years apart? Should I be sorry for sleeping with my other ex-girlfriend, and having been obsessed with her for years and years? Should I believe in God?

Oh my. One minute had already passed. We were in front of the Big Ben. Big bang? No. Not yet. Not this time.

Another working day ahead. In God we still trust. Or not?

Tyler M.

How to avoid a sound-like scam job offer

rklayne — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 22:48:57 +0000

http://whocallsme.com/Phone-Number.aspx/02072519028/2

Well, what can we say about that?

Just another MISadventure in Wonderland. In these hard times of credit crunch, looking for a job is definitely a bad idea. Just how bad it can turns to, when you’re sending loads of cvs everyday and don’t get absolutely anyone back to you.

Well, now I know my mistake was all about my cover letter. I kept sending my template cover letter to anybody, regardless the type of job I was applying for. With the result that no one called me, although my cv is absolutely great (!).

But, as I said, in these hard times of credit crunch, when an HR dude finds 400 to 500 cvs in his email address, that’s the cover letter that he reads first. And if he likes, maybe he’ll have a look at the cv. That’s why I finally got the only job that completely suited my cover letter.

But this is another story. Well, I am writing this page just to warn you that, again, in these hard times of credit crunch, there are companies who take advantage of the desperate need of young granduates to get their first job.

One company in particular, which is called by different names (JCC Solutions, GM Global Marketing Solutions, Red Square Direct, Mosco Marketing, Fosters Marketing Solutions, Supreme Corporation UK, Aspire Acquisitions Ltd) seems to promise great positions with greater careers opportunities and stuff.

Nothing of that. I got almost scammed. Their only mistake was to call me in for an interview and tell me they would send me over an email with directions. They didn’t straight away. So I googled their telephone number. And I was grateful for that large worlwide piazza which is the internet.

I got into an interesting website (link attached), where people were exchanging feelings and experiences about the above mentioned company. Thanks to them, I avoided wasting my time and cancelling a nice and already planned afternoon out with a friend.

I felt like being into a pub conversation, with everybody telling his experience related to that simple telephone number that had called us all. In some cases it was just a missed call, in other cases people had gone through all the stages of the process of getting the job and therefore were able to advice everybody else about the allegedly scam company.

And that’s the reason why I started my own blog. Thank you internet. Thank you dodgy company.

Oh, by the way. If numbers 02072519028 or 0207 017 3866 call you… well just don’t pick up. It’s just another waist of time and illusions.

Tyler Miranda